What I really wanted
by CloudyAgain
Summary: Len gets everything he wants, but what he really wanted, just attempted to kill himself in the boys bathroom at they're school. LenxPiko! Warning: Sex, Hurt, Attempted Suicide, Yaoi


Summary: Len gets everything he wants, but what he really wanted, just attempted to kill himself in the boys bathroom at they're school.

Pair: LenxPiko

Warning: Sex, Hurt, Attempted Suicide, Yaoi

Disclaimer: Piko and Len are not mine.

NOTE: I wanted to do a serious fic :3. So Piko is gonna try to kill himself :D

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><p>Its was not a ordinary day. Piko knew what had to happen today, He planned out everything in his head last night while sleeping.<p>

'Theres possible nothing to live for his I get turned down today.' He thought to himself laying in his bed, 'If he says no then he says no, I mean... come on Piko, He's _Len_ Its not like he's gonna leave all the girls for me...' Think about that made Piko feel unloved and hurt. 'Im just a freak...'

'Today is the day.' He shut his eyes and thought about the box cutter in his backpack. Where would he do it? He thought hard. He couldn't do it at home. Luka was always cleaning the house and Gakupo never fixed the bathroom lock that him a Luka broke in they're last fight.

Everyone was entering the classroom. The door was wide open for everyone to enter. Piko clenched the pencil in his hand. 'I hope he decided to come today.' Piko knew Len was barely at school, but he was the smartest and most charming student in his math and science class that he always finished him homework.

Every girl and even a few boys, wanted to be with Len. Even if it was just for one night, everyone wanted a piece of him. but, of course, If you wanted him but he didn't want you you would have no chance at all. He has a complex about his sister, Rin Kagamine, She preffered older men. Of course Len always threaten the teacher to stay away from Rin, but Rin always sweet-talked him to shut his mouth. Len did what she wanted.

Piko began to sweat. 'Why isn't he here?' He wanted to cry. His throat was dry and he felt like he just fell from a tall building. He wanted to go home and die. but all hope was not lost when he heard the sound of girls awing from the doorway. 'H-he's here...' He saw him.

There he was. Skinny, Tall, slightly tanned but still pale skin. His Bright Yellow-Blonde hair tied up in a white elastic. His uniform was messy and his tie was not tied, but it looked very good... That was until Miku, the schools most well known girl, ran out of nowhere and clung on to Len's left arm, which his hand was in his black pants pocket.

Piko sat in the middle back row of the class, he couldn't help but over hear Miku and Len's conversation. "Why don't we finish what we started ysterday?" Miku said in a erotic, wanting voice. "To bad. I have to finish up this week work. Gotta keep up." Piko let off a sigh of relef. He didn't want them to finish off what they started, because, well... He loved Len.

Out of everyone in the school, Len was the nicest person to him. He wasnt friend with Piko but still, He didnt make fun of Pikos hair because it was white. He didn't call him a 'fag' because he looked and sound like a shota. He didn't threaten him. He actually smiled at Piko and stood up for him a few times. He was even Piko's science partner. Of couse Len and funny and outstanding when talking to him, but when it came to disecting frogs Len cried. Len told Piko not to laugh but he hated death, and the thought of cutting up something dead. It made Piko see a side of Len that made him want Len.

The teacher entered the door. "Everyone sit down and shut up!" Every was quiet. Piko didn't noticed that the whole time he was day dreaming most of the students were already in class. He noticed Miku sitting very close to Len, just two rows left of him, beside the window.

Piko wanted class to be over, He waited and listened to the teacher talking.

After a few questions, notes and assignments the hour was finally over. Len left the class, Piko knew where Len when for this free period. He went up to the roof. Even though it was off limits Len went to go sleep. When he saw Len dissapear up the stairs Piko followed along, he grabbed his messenger bag before going up to the roof.

He was shaking. He couldn't believe that today would either be the best day of his life or his sad end. He cleanch his bag in his chest, 'I'm... scared' He thought to himself while making his way up the stairs. Passin by a few girls laughing. They were tanned and had candy colored hair with 80's make up. It looked like they tailored the uniform to make the blue jacket tighter and the skirt shorter. He could hear them snicker, "... See!" one of the girls laughed, "That's the freak Miku told me about! The snow fag!"

Piko didn't care what people thought about him. The only person he would take hurt from was Len. He was to inloved with Len to care about the world.

Snow Fag was a name that he's been called a bunch of times. Miku started calling him that name behind his back for 5 months now. He was so pale and his hair was white and his eyes were pale blue and green. Kind of like winter. That were 'Snow' comes in. And fag, well. Piko was more feminine that most girls.

He was just a door open away from his conffesion. He felt like he was drowning. 'The worst thing he can do is say no.' Without think another word he push open the door.

The sun was bright. It stung his eyes. It took a while for his eyes to adjust, but when they did he saw a roof. Rocks and a few vents. "wh-Where..." He scanned the large space.

"Piko-kun?" He heard a voice. He looked up and saw Len. "L-Len!" He turned around and took a step back. "Y-our up her... there?" Len chuckled, "I am? I thought I was down there." He laughed.

Len leapt down from the top of the door. "That's were I cimb up to, You know, to hid." He laughed. He put his hands in his pocket and stared at the city. You could see buildings faraway but mostly houses. He turned to Piko, who was shaking and holding his bag high to his chest. "What wrong? Were you looking for me?" He stared deeply at the trembling boy.

"I-i-i-I..." He closed his eyes, 'Calm down Piko!' He opened them to catch a bored looking Len staring at him. "So?" Len spoke, "What'sup?"

"I..." Piko looked away, "I... I l-lov... Like... you..." He said quietly. "Huh? I didn't hear what you said." He chuckled. Piko held his bag tighter, "I love... I Like you." He shouted, tear running down his cheeks. Len's eyes wided but returned to normal, "What? Why?" Piko looked down. "Because... Your not mean to me like everyone else..." Len smirked. "Im not a fag though." Piko felt something inside his break. "Wha..." He stared at Len. "I mean... I'm not attracted to boys." Piko felt his heart sink. "I..." He looked down and took a step back. "Goodbye... forever." Piko opened the door and ran as fast as he could down stairs. 'Why...' He got to the 4th floor and ran across the hall. Avoiding the students in his way. 'Where?' He turned to his left at the corner and dashed down the empty hall way to the end of the hall. There was a bathroom. Only a few students used it.

"There..." He opened the door. It was dark. It didnt smell to day. He walked to the corner of the medium sized bathroom, that only had 2 stalls, He sat on the bench and opened his bag.

There he held a box cutter, in his right hand. "Okay.." The tears flowed hard. He felt nothing. The one thing he wanted didn't want him back. "Die!" He screamed as he dug the blade deep into his wrist. "Of course he was so faraway from classes and student that no one would ever notice. It hurt. He couldn't stop crying. The blood wouldn't stop flowng. It gushed out of the deep cut. He layed on his side on the light blue tiled floor. "Goodbye... forever."

'Why did I say that...' Len walked down the 4th floor main hallway. 'I really like him...' He wanted to punch himself. 'Why...' he felt himself die a little. 'Why did he saw forevery at the end of his goodbye?' He turned to his left at the corner. 'Ugh...' He thought, 'This hallway.' He kept walking. 'Maybe I should go hide there for a hour or two.'

When he turned the handle of the bathroom door he saw Piko, he laying down, back facing Len. "Piko?" Len asked. "p-Piko, Im sorry I..." He saw that Piko wasn't moving, at all.

"Piko?" He walked closer. That's when he saw it. Blood. "P-Piko!" It was all over the place. "Piko..." He began to cry. The tears started and they would stop. "Piko!" He hate himself at that moment, "Why!" He screamed. He turned Piko over and hugged him. On his knees hugging the boy he wanted but didn't know it. "Im sorry Piko!" He cried. Staring into the boy's eyes, well, his eye lids. "Wake up..." he sob, he moved hair away from Piko's face. Smearing his cheek with blood.

"I..." Len screamed, "Piko!"

It hurt. It hurted everywhere. He felt like throwing up. "Wh-where am I?" He couldn't see anything past the blinding bright lights. He felt a warmth beside him. He squinted his eyes and stared at the person on his right. "Who?" He tried to touch it but he felt a sharp stab in his wrist. "Ahh!" He scremed, suddenly the dark blob turned into a figure, It was sitting, resting and holding Pikos hand, Then, it was Len.

"Piko..." Len stared with hasty eyes. "You..." Piko stared at Len. "Where am I?" Len shot up and wrapped his arms arround Piko. Piko was laying in a hospital bed with a gown on. The bed was adjusted so he sat up a little. "Piko!" Len cried. "Why?" Piko felt funny, Len was holding him. He wanted this to happen for such a long time. "Piko... I love you..." Len sobed.

"You lie!" Piko's voice cracked, "You said you did like me!" Len back away and looked down, "I didn't say that..." Piko saw tears falling from Lens cheeks, "I said I wasn't attracted to boys." Len's voice hurting. "but, I'm a boy.", "Your not just a boy. Your a smart, cute and wonderful person." Len stared into Pikos eyes. "I love you!" Piko shut his eyes and looked away from Len. "Your with Miku! and those other girls! You don' date guys! Especially a loser like me!"

He about to shout something else but he was cut off by Len, who suddenly pressed his face up to Pikos. Kissing him.

Piko didn't know what to do, or what to think. This is something he wanted for so long, and he finally got it. Len soft lips pressed against his, It was Piko's first kiss, It wasn't sloppy and erotic, but it soft and nice. He wanted his first kiss to be Len, and it was. It was a dream, but, real. After a few more seconds Len back away from Piko. "I-i..." Len stared deeply into Piko's eyes, "I love you."

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><p>Note: I am Finished the first part 'u'!<p>

it took a whole day ._., anyways the next chapter (spoiler) Len and Piko(try to)go on a date :3,a nd then they'll have sex :B

Next chapter will be up within sometime in the week :D

(Sorry to leave you hanging ._.)


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